Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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