did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How's work?
Spinning.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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