Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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