So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
