hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
