great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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