Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
