I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
