So gin and wine won't be happening again
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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