Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize