Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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