You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
