margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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