I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
