he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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