I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
