You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
