the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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