just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
