I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
