We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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