ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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