I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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