Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
