As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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