i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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