Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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