Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
