exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
