when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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