HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
