his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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