Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
