He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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