the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
