Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize