I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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