he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
