obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
