Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
