You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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