So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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