im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
