I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
