He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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