Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
