shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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