you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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