Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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