No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
