so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
