WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
