When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you made out with another girl for some wings
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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