I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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