Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
