What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
