dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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