Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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