Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize