I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
