my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
