he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
