just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
