Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
