There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize