So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
