your room smells of hookers.
And success
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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