The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
