the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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