So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
