Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
