Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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