this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
